I was recently asked to do some grant-writing for free, a Wellness Workshop for free and so on and so on. After the usual compliments about my 'brilliance' and 'talent,' I get the request to help the 'community'
I guess we have to define 'community.'
For me, the word refers to a group of people who wish me well and with whom I share an interdependent relationship.
An interdependent relationship means I help those who help me; if someone is hoping to provide me the opportunity to 'practice' my nerd skills, there's no need. I hone my writing and research skills on a daily basis and have nothing to prove by sitting kumbayah- style with someone to provide free labor.
My ancestors worked for free and it didn't bode well for them. The word 'community' is often thrown in for the emotional blackmail part. Making the person with the education and skills feel as though providing free services for agencies in low- income neighborhoods is mandatory in order to be considered kind, good, caring, and compassionate.
For many of us who grew up in low-expectation neighborhoods, the desire to be considered good -- the one who came back to help -- is extremely important.
However, the people most deserving of a salary and/or a higher salary, than those coming into the community, are those who understand the psychosocial challenges of being in the low-expectations community. The ones who come back know more than those who opened up shop in the hood after moving to NYC from the Midwest.
After thousands of hours of volunteer work, as an interpreter, translator, teacher, grant writer, etc., I just say no.
My work has value and paying someone to work for you also has value -- called it reciprocity or interdependence.
If I choose to volunteer for something, I will. If you ask for free labor and I say no, you might take it personally or you might stop talking to me. I'm grown, so I can handle it.
Refusing to work for free for a friend might elicit the ol' emotional blackmail
Odilia, I thought we were friends. Don't you like me?
We are friends. I do like you, but I like me more.
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